he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
