just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
