dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
