I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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