Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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