TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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