please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
