Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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