Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.

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(813): View more from Florida

I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good

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(307): View more from Wyoming

you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood

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(315): View more from New York

They're like penises that have been put in a blender.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?

(828): View more from North Carolina

Is it working?

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(970): View more from Colorado

Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids

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(+61): View more from Australia

I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?

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