I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
