My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
