I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
