If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
birth control should be required to get into college
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize