he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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