my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
