I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
