Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
