my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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