oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
