remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
