Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
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The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
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Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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