The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
