why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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