I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.