So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!