Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
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so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize