used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
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It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
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I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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