just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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