Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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