yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize