Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
