I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
