honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
