You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
