Small penises have feelings too.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
