God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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