I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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