we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
