Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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