I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize