your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
