I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize