Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
