I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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