do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
