You're my little dorito
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
