Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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