She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
