i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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