I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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