Banned from zoo.
Again?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
