your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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