Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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