is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Pants are for mortals
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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