sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
