as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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