Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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