He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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