Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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