Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I need to stop coming to work sober
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
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mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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