In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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