Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i permit you to call me
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
