nut hugger
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
