I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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