if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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